{"id":16742,"date":"2012-11-16T06:09:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-16T04:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.PsiLaska.cz\/clanky\/zabavne-clanky-o-psech\/murphyho-zakony-o-psech\/"},"modified":"2016-03-01T06:52:28","modified_gmt":"2016-03-01T04:52:28","slug":"murphyho-zakony-o-psech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.psilaska.cz\/zabavne-clanky-o-psech\/murphyho-zakony-o-psech\/","title":{"rendered":"Murphyho z\u00e1kony o psech"},"content":{"rendered":"
Z\u00e1kony o verb\u00e1ln\u00edm i neverb\u00e1ln\u00edm projevu psa ponechan\u00e9ho o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n V\u00fdjimky z Howlova z\u00e1kona<\/strong><\/u> Z\u00e1kon intenzity vyt\u00ed podle dr. Deafa<\/u><\/strong> Deaf\u016fv z\u00e1kon pom\u011bru sil<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon stup\u0148ov\u00e1n\u00ed agresivity<\/u><\/strong> Fri\u0161tensk\u00e9ho z\u00e1kon<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon nepravd\u011bpodobnosti Weak\u016fv dodatek<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon nevyrovnanosti sil Smooth\u016fv z\u00e1kon \u00falisnosti<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon rozm\u011brnosti:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon souc\u00edt\u011bn\u00ed: Z\u00e1kon destruk\u010dn\u00ed:<\/u><\/strong> Drain\u016fv \u010dasov\u00fd z\u00e1kon:<\/u><\/strong> Aktu\u00e1ln\u00ed p\u0159ipom\u00ednka dr. Loota<\/u><\/strong> Gartenova pou\u010dka<\/u><\/strong> Fort\u016fv ak\u010dn\u00ed z\u00e1kon<\/u><\/strong> Dopln\u011bk Fortova ak\u010dn\u00edho z\u00e1kona<\/u><\/strong> Fortova okenn\u00ed z\u00e1sada<\/u><\/strong> Resum\u00e9 akademika Blocka o jedin\u00e9m \u00fa\u010dinn\u00e9m zp\u016fsobu, jak zabr\u00e1nit psovi v tom, aby se p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017eil k va\u0161emu domu Block\u016fv prvn\u00ed vodn\u00ed z\u00e1kon<\/u><\/strong> Block\u016fv druh\u00fd vodn\u00ed z\u00e1kon<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon o p\u0159irozen\u00e9m nep\u0159\u00edteli<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon v\u00fdstra\u017en\u00fd<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon vyt\u011bsn\u011bn\u00ed:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon p\u0159edb\u011b\u017en\u00e9ho opat\u0159en\u00ed:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon o zachov\u00e1n\u00ed druhu:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon konspira\u010dn\u00ed:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon absolutn\u00edho minima:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon zrady:<\/u><\/strong> Riflerovo dopln\u011bn\u00ed z\u00e1kona zrady:<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon reakce p\u0159i neexistuj\u00edc\u00edm ohro\u017een\u00ed:<\/u><\/strong> Po\u0159\u00edd\u00edte-li si jakk\u00e9koliv dom\u00e1c\u00ed zv\u00ed\u0159e s v\u00fdjimkou akvarijn\u00edch ryby\u010dek, za\u010dnete no\u010dn\u00ed ve\u010d\u00edrky sv\u00fdch sn\u011bd\u00fdch spoluob\u010dan\u016f pova\u017eovat za o\u00e1zu klidu. <\/span><\/p>\n Ven\u010d\u00edc\u00ed z\u00e1kony<\/strong> Blind\u016fv z\u00e1kon<\/u><\/strong> Z\u00e1kon absolutn\u00ed poslu\u0161nosti Z\u00e1kon zamezen\u00ed jist\u00fdch rizik<\/u><\/strong> Vlastiv\u011bdn\u00fd z\u00e1kon doc. Northa<\/u><\/strong> V\u00fdjimka doc. Northa Up\u0159esn\u011bn\u00ed z\u00e1kona doc. Northa North\u016fv z\u00e1kon nepravd\u011bpodobnosti<\/u><\/strong> Vyj\u00e1d\u0159en\u00ed ministerstva dopravy a spoj\u016f Shelter\u016fv z\u00e1kon jist\u00fdch rizik<\/u><\/strong> Bell\u016fv z\u00e1kon o \u0161\u00ed\u0159en\u00ed zvuku<\/u><\/strong> Prvn\u00ed dodatek k Bellovu z\u00e1konu<\/u><\/strong> Druh\u00fd dodatek k Bellovu z\u00e1konu<\/u><\/strong> <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Z\u00e1kony o verb\u00e1ln\u00edm i neverb\u00e1ln\u00edm projevu psa ponechan\u00e9ho o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti: Howl\u016fv z\u00e1kon p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9 \u00fam\u011bry Pes, ponechan\u00fd o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti, vyje t\u00edm hlasit\u011bji, \u010d\u00edm v\u00edce soused\u016f je v dan\u00e9 chv\u00edli na doslech.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[575],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nHowl\u016fv z\u00e1kon p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9 \u00fam\u011bry<\/strong>
\n<\/u>Pes, ponechan\u00fd o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti, vyje t\u00edm hlasit\u011bji, \u010d\u00edm v\u00edce soused\u016f je v dan\u00e9 chv\u00edli na doslech.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNen\u00ed-li na doslech \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd soused, pes ponechan\u00fd o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti:
\n– sp\u00ed
\n– ni\u010d\u00ed v\u011bci,jejich\u017e demolice nen\u00ed spojena s vyluzov\u00e1n\u00edm hlasit\u00fdch zvuk\u016f.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPes, ponechan\u00fd o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti, vyje nejhlasit\u011bji tehdy, kdy\u017e se v\u00e1\u0161 unaven\u00fd soused vrac\u00ed z no\u010dn\u00ed slu\u017eby a tou\u017e\u00ed po zaslou\u017een\u00e9m sp\u00e1nku.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nIntenzita vyt\u00ed psa ponechan\u00e9ho o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti je t\u00edm v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed, \u010d\u00edm je v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed vzr\u016fst a muskulatura va\u0161eho souseda, pracuj\u00edc\u00edho na sm\u011bny.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPes ru\u0161\u00ed ze sp\u00e1nku pouze ty sousedy, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou schopni a ochotni pustit se s v\u00e1mi do fyzick\u00e9 poty\u010dky.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nJe-li v\u00e1\u0161 soused mistrem republiky v \u0159ecko\u0159\u00edmsk\u00e9m z\u00e1pase, vyje pes a\u017e do naprost\u00e9ho ochrapt\u011bn\u00ed.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nFyzickou poty\u010dku, vyvolanou sousedem, kter\u00fd po n\u00e1vratu z no\u010dn\u00ed slu\u017eby p\u011bt a v\u00edce hodin poslouchal srdceryvn\u00e9 vyt\u00ed va\u0161eho psa, nem\u00e1te nikdy \u0161anci vyhr\u00e1t.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNejsp\u00ed\u0161 neuhrajete ani rem\u00edzu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nP\u0159i fyzick\u00e9 poty\u010dce s nevyspal\u00fdm sousedem v\u00e1s pes nikdy nebude br\u00e1nit. Pravd\u011bpodobn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed je, \u017ee se pes p\u0159id\u00e1 na stranu souseda.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nV p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9 konfrontace mezi v\u00e1mi, sousedem a va\u0161\u00edm psem se pes chov\u00e1 tak mile a p\u0159\u00e1telsky, a\u017e soused nabude dojmu, \u017ee jste celou tu dobu vyli vy.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n\u010c\u00edm v\u011bt\u0161\u00edho psa m\u00e1te, t\u00edm men\u0161\u00ed m\u00edsto pro v\u00e1s z\u016fstane v lo\u017enici. <\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/u><\/strong>V\u00e1\u0161 pes je v o\u010d\u00edch soused\u016f chud\u00e1\u010dek, kter\u00fd mus\u00ed \u017e\u00edt s takov\u00fdm pitomcem, jako jste vy.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNem\u00e1te-li sousedy, bude pes, ponechan\u00fd o samot\u011b v uzav\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti systematicky demolovat za\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed bytu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n\u0160kody, zp\u016fsoben\u00e9 va\u0161\u00edm psem ponechan\u00fdm o samot\u011b, nikdy nezjist\u00edte hned pot\u00e9, co vznikly.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNap\u0159. po\u0161kozen\u00ed videorekord\u00e9ru psem zjist\u00edte ve chv\u00edli, kdy si chcete nahr\u00e1t program, kter\u00fd jde v posledn\u00ed repr\u00edze a na dal\u0161\u00ed vys\u00edl\u00e1n\u00ed ji\u017e nem\u00e1 televize pr\u00e1va.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPokud se domn\u00edv\u00e1te, \u017ee sou\u010dasn\u00fdm vlastnictv\u00edm zahrady a va\u0161eho psa se z v\u00e1s st\u00e1v\u00e1 bezprobl\u00e9mov\u00e1 chovatel, jste na omylu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nRozhodnete-li se, \u017ee pes bude po dobu va\u0161\u00ed nep\u0159\u00edtomnosti v\u00fdhradn\u011b na zahrad\u011b, mus\u00edte opevnit v\u0161echny p\u0159\u00edstupov\u00e9 cesty do domu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNezapom\u00ednejte na okna – i mal\u00fd pes um\u00ed vysko\u010dit hodn\u011b vysoko.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nV krajn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b dovede pes prosko\u010dit sklem. Doporu\u010duji proto opat\u0159it okna okenicemi z kovu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nRelativn\u011b nejspolehliv\u011bj\u0161\u00ed zp\u016fsob, jak zamezit psovi v tom, aby se p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017eil k va\u0161emu domu, je vodn\u00ed p\u0159\u00edkop o \u0161\u00ed\u0159ce deset a v\u00edce metr\u016f a p\u0159ibli\u017en\u011b stejn\u00e9 hloubce.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nVoda v ochrann\u00e9m vodn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edkopu nesm\u00ed b\u00fdt zamrzl\u00e1 – v takov\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b se ochrann\u00e1 funkce p\u0159\u00edkopu zcela m\u00edj\u00ed \u00fa\u010dinkem.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nVoda v ochrann\u00e9m vodn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edkopu by m\u011bla b\u00fdt permanentn\u011b na bodu varu, to jest sto stup\u0148\u016f Celsia.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNem\u016f\u017eete-li udr\u017eovat vodu ve vodn\u00edm p\u0159\u00edkopu neust\u00e1le na bodu varu, jako n\u00e1hradn\u00ed variantu lze pou\u017e\u00edt hejno piran\u00ed minim\u00e1ln\u011b o sto jedinc\u00edch.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNem\u00e1te-li dostatek vody, vybavte dno p\u0159\u00edkopu betonem, v n\u011bm\u017e budou v rozestupu p\u011bti centimetr\u016f zabetonov\u00e1ny ocelov\u00e9 hroty velk\u00e9 asi p\u016fldruh\u00e9ho metru.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nI mal\u00fd pes dok\u00e1\u017ee ve va\u0161\u00ed posteli zaujmout takovou polohu, aby pro v\u00e1s nezbylo prakticky \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9 m\u00edsto.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nD\u0159\u00edve, ne\u017e si po\u0159\u00edd\u00edte psa, je dobr\u00e9 zakoupit si spartaki\u00e1dn\u00ed leh\u00e1tko.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPes mysl\u00ed na sex zhruba stejn\u011b \u010dasto jako na j\u00eddlo, tedy prakticky neust\u00e1le.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nMajitel feny, kterou v\u00e1\u0161 pes zprznil, si v\u00e1s v\u017edycky najde.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nZ milostn\u00e9ho setk\u00e1n\u00ed va\u0161eho psa s fenou \u0161ampi\u00f3nkou vzejde nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed mo\u017en\u00fd po\u010det \u0161t\u011b\u0148at, kter\u00e9 nikdo nebude cht\u00edt ani zadarmo. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nBude-li v\u00e1\u0161 pes doma a nav\u0161t\u00edv\u00ed v\u00e1s neozbrojen\u00ed zlod\u011bji, p\u0159\u00e1telsky jim ol\u00edzne tv\u00e1\u0159 a provede je po t\u011bch m\u00edstech, kde m\u00e1te uschov\u00e1ny cennosti.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nSkute\u010dn\u011b hl\u00eddat bude pouze lednici a sp\u00ed\u017e.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPes \u0161t\u011bk\u00e1 jen tehdy, kdy na v\u00e1\u0161 zvonek zvon\u00ed po\u0161\u0165\u00e1k, instalat\u00e9r, plyna\u0159, elektrik\u00e1\u0159, mal\u00ed\u0159 pokoj\u016f, domovn\u00edk, majitel domu nebo vy s\u00e1m.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nFreeman\u016fv dodatek<\/u><\/strong>
\nP\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm k p\u011bkn\u00e9 proch\u00e1zce podle ps\u00ed p\u0159edstavy rozhodn\u011b nepat\u0159\u00ed vod\u00edtko.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nJedin\u00fd pes, kter\u00fd se na vych\u00e1zce chov\u00e1 zcela disciplinovan\u011b, je pes slepeck\u00fd.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/u><\/strong>Chcete-li se zcela spolehliv\u011b a jednou prov\u017edy vyvarovat v\u0161ech kompikac\u00ed, spojen\u00fdch s pobytem psa na voln\u00e9m prostranstv\u00ed, mus\u00edte vyp\u00edt sklenku d\u0159evit\u00e9ho lihu.
\nPozn\u00e1mka ing. Brailla
\nAle nestoj\u00ed to za to…<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPom\u011brn\u011b bezpe\u010dn\u00e9 je j\u00edt se psem na proch\u00e1zku do m\u00edst, kde se nevyskytuj\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00ed psi.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nNejbli\u017e\u0161\u00ed m\u00edsto od va\u0161eho domu, kde se nevyskytuj\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00ed jin\u00ed psi, jsou chmurn\u00e9 ledov\u00e9 pl\u00e1n\u011b Antarktidy.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/u><\/strong>Nebereme-li ov\u0161em v \u00favahu pol\u00e1rn\u00ed expedice se san\u011bmi a se ps\u00edm sp\u0159e\u017een\u00edm.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/u><\/strong>Bereme-li v \u00favahu pol\u00e1rn\u00ed expedice se san\u011bmi se ps\u00edm sp\u0159e\u017een\u00edm, pak je nejbli\u017e\u0161\u00edm m\u00edstem od va\u0161eho domu, kde se nevyskytuj\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00ed jin\u00ed psi j\u00edcen kter\u00e9koli \u010dinn\u00e9 sopky.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nPravd\u011bpodobnost, \u017ee n\u011bkdy budete ven\u010dit sv\u00e9ho psa na chmurn\u00fdch ledov\u00fdch pl\u00e1n\u00edch Antarktidy \u010di u j\u00edcnu kter\u00e9koli \u010dinn\u00e9 spoky je mnohem men\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e pravd\u011bpodobnost, \u017ee vyhrajete Jackpot Sportky.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nP\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm ani do Antarktidy, ani k sope\u010dn\u00fdm j\u00edcn\u016fm nejezd\u00ed pravideln\u00e1 autobusov\u00e1 linka.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nV\u0161echna ostatn\u00ed m\u00edsta pro proch\u00e1zku se psem bezpe\u010dn\u00e1 jsou. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nPes, kter\u00e9mu odepnete vod\u00edtko, okam\u017eit\u011b ohluchne. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nTato hluchota se t\u00fdk\u00e1 pouze vlnov\u00e9 frekvence va\u0161eho hlasu.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nJako protiv\u00e1ha se v\u0161echny ostatn\u00ed zvuky sly\u0161en\u00e9 psem zes\u00edl\u00ed. Zejm\u00e9na \u0161t\u011bkot jin\u00e9ho psa, vzd\u00e1len\u00e9ho i kilometr a v\u00edce, sly\u0161\u00ed pes zcela z\u0159eteln\u011b.<\/span><\/p>\n
\nMurphyho opravy za\u017eit\u00fdch ps\u00edch r\u010den\u00ed<\/u><\/strong>
\nBarkovy opravy \u0161t\u011bkac\u00edch p\u0159edsudk\u016f<\/u>
\nPes, kter\u00fd \u0161t\u011bk\u00e1 a nekou\u0161e je pes p\u0159e\u017eran\u00fd.
\nPes, kter\u00fd ne\u0161t\u011bk\u00e1 a kou\u0161e je pes n\u011bm\u00fd.
\nPes, kter\u00fd \u0161t\u011bk\u00e1 a kou\u0161e je pes norm\u00e1ln\u00ed.
\nPes, kter\u00fd ne\u0161t\u011bk\u00e1 a nekou\u0161e je pes mrtv\u00fd.<\/span><\/p>\n